When They Say They’ll Be There For Me (Pero Son Puras Mentiras)
Me dicen que soy la number one, a priority, y me la sigo creyendo.
Whether it’s family or a symmetrical face with elongated words,
I keep forgetting that I drop everything to take care of them
but they don’t do the same for me.
¿Y para qué? So i can get the title of long-suffering pendeja?
Nombre. Me decían que me iban a cuidar, me iban a mimar,
que esto y que l’otro, y pues no o o o o o o o.
Sometimes I’m so embarrassed that I kept believing their pattern would evolve.
Imma keep reminding myself, tho, that I look for Light in people,
and yes, I gotta make some different choices, pero ALSO,
my love is so big, no saben que hacer conmigo.
Ay. Ya casi se me olvida. The family chisme:
Mi tía is turning 80. Her children made plans for her birthday, but she’s ditching
their boring dinner in favor of las maquinitas en Las Vegas. Vegas! From Texas!
¿Tu crees? That right there. Nada de sacrificios. Just puro self-amorrrrr.
They’re out there saying they’re gonna be there for me. Si, como no.
Se me ocurre, tho, that maybe I don’t want ‘em to be there for me
if it means that, in six months, they gonn’ resent me. Mejor así.
May they live, thrive, sift through their own promises. Imma do me.
I wanna say I’m always gonna be there for me, pero no manches,
I can’t predict the future.
But just for today. I don’t want ‘em calling me. I don’t want ‘em texting me,
or slipping into my DMs. It’s time for a pilgrimage to me.
I buckle in. And when I see a bridge on the road, Imma roll down my windows,
stick out my long hair, and shout along to my playlist de señora traicionada.
Lots of Juan Gabriel, Ana Gabriel, and that one song by Amanda Miguel. Órale.
My self-care? It’s all here already.
Middle fingers, volume, and self-connection all the way up.
Aires, Aires, y Más Desaires
dear future self
i am jealous
so very jealous
of your peace
your love
your cuddles–
which you benefit from
after all my hard work
tanto sacrificio
pero no me da pena
ni vergüenza
sentir tantos celos
amorcito corazón
cos you honor
the current version of me
every time that you
sigh and
make art and
swim in lakes
full of
embers
and
self-forgiveness
Violeta Garza
Violeta Garza is a Latinx poet and artist from San Antonio, TX. Her debut poetry chapbook Brava was a semifinalist for the 2023 Nine Syllables Press Chapbook Contest, and will be released in September 2025 by First Matter Press. She never fully trained her tongue to roll her Spanish R’s. You can peruse her work at violetagarza.com or @violeta.poeta.
